1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Falling on Oyster Shells as a little girl.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
What isn't on the walls in my room? One wall is a huge collage of cutouts from magazines, and I have a bunch of other stuff on my walls. All in perfect array though.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
According to Allison I talk in my sleep about strange things o.o

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Rock, punk, alternative, pop.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
My mom always gets my brother's time and my time confused; it's either evening or morning.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Any kinda food, or to see Zack, but he's coming back tomorrow anyway :3

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Zack even though he's only been gone a week, lol umm my Uncle Clinton, and the magic of childhood.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
Hmm I don't know, anything in my room I suppose.

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
5'4"

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Nope.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Not anymore, it took awhile to wear off from childhood though.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Almost Zack without realizing it, but hmm it had to have been my dad.

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Roaches, Palmetto Bugs, losing loved ones.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Doesn't matter much.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
I wouldn't be the one proposing, silly.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Coffee alllll the way.

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Only cheese. Any kinda cheese :3

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Umm, Frosted Flakes? I dunno.

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Orange, even though I love something about every single color.

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
The snack kind, if that's whatcha mean.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
The gift of life? Duuuh.

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
I go out with him (:

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Not that I can tell.

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Umm Forever 21, Hollister, Rue21, American Eagle, Pacsun

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
78

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Either, who cares.

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
asdfghjkl;

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
Peaceful woods, but the woods near me got cut down. :/

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
No, I wish. *Thinks of Cane Garden Bay in the British Virgin Islands*

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Being tickled.

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Some chick from iCarly came to our school.

37. FIRST JOB?
I dunno if working with my mom over holidays counts.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Bahaha who hasn't? I love em, can't pull one to save my life though. I start laughing.

39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
Maaaaybe (;

40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Sitting around, talking to Zack. <3

41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
No thank God, it would freak me out.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My hair.

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Nope, need em though.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That's in August. Too far away to decide.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
Just guesses but two; a girl: Autumn Rose & a boy: Kaine Joseph

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yes ma'am.

47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Too much awkwardness.

48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKE(D) ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
There's actually not much I like about it..

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Same kind Zack uses :3

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Lurve it.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Lunch meat? I'll pass..

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Yesyes, small ones but annoying ones.

53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
Sometimes.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Maybe.

55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
Um huh.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Somewhat, but personality always takes dominance over looks for me.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Yelling or ranting, haha.

58. WOULD YOU RATHER GAIN 58 POUNDS OR LOSE 58 POUNDS.
Um neither thanks but no thanks.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Many.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
119

62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
Says my mom.

63. Do you use sarcasm?
Nooooo.
Obviously that means yes

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Macaroni & Cheeeessseee

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I don't really have many special preferences, except they have to stnad out from everyone else in a unique kinda way, but not in an obnoxious kind of way. They have to be sweet and caring, but not too caring.. overall, I guess it just has to feel right before anything.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Manda, Amandamoleh from Zack lol, Jamie from some people who want to get on my nerves, and Zakk's friends all think it's entertaining to call me Jamieson when they know I hate it. Umm my mom's always called me Dolly ever since I was born.. hmm not many others.

67. FAVORITE SUPER POWER?
The superpower to infinitely produce more superpowers.

68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Hmm, don't watch much tv to be honest.

69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
Don't really have any, but ignoring them works when you have em.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Vanilla or Cookie Dough, or Superman :3

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Um, yeah?

72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
Yes siree bob.

73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Uhhh sleeping, most likely talking to Zakk most of the night, lol.

74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
Umm somewhere kinda near where I was born and raised.. someplace peaceful and near both the beach & the woods.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Hahah, well, um sure, if you have nothing better to do with your time or have things to do and just don't want to do them like me.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Nuffin.

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Milk outta the cereal bowl. Ftw. (:

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?.
Mother dearest

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Personality, looks, and way of doing things. Well I think looks is really the first thing you see in someone when you don't know them.

80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
Go outside, relax, listen to music, play guitar, tidy up my room or just hang out. I'm way too laid back I think, it's why I can't ever get anything doneeee.

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
.....

82. FAVOURITE SEASON OF THE YEAR?
Autumn mainly, and if I had to choose another it would be Summer.

83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
Sour gummy worms.

84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
Oh yes, definitely.

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Honey Blonde

86. EYE COLOR?
Teal.

87. SHOE SIZE?
Seven.

88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Chick Fil A

89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Umm it was this place in Tennessee that I forgot the name of.

90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Ewwies.

91. WATCH TV TODAY?
The Price is Right for the win.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Not sure bout that.

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Learning the acoustic guitar :3 learning fast too.

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Republican if I HAD to choose :/ I hate politics.

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
Hugs, they just have so much more feeling & love in them :3 and they're cozy.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships of course.

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Uhh some stuff at Target yesterday. But it was my mom's money

98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
Uh.. Idk?

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Nuffin.

RISE AGAINST

PLEEEEAAASEEE listen to them, they're mega super amazing.
I freaking want to eat their music it's so awesome. hahaha well yeah I'm like probably the boredest person in the universe right about now.
I hope you have enjoyed this phail of a journal
Kthanks bye

Jeez. I have a problem.
Idk why all of this just popped in my head, but I gotta put it somewhere. Sorry for the teenager-ness.. please ignore reading this at all costs, it's so stupid.
Sooo, having a guy in the palm of your hand is an awesome feeling.
I don't know what it is about me, but Jack is definitely putty in my hands. He stays up as long as I stay up; for hours and hours on end just to talk to me. Just yesterday we talked for 8 hours straight, doing nothing else. He was dog-dead tired and finally gave in to sleep at 3am, but didn't want to. (I have been having spells of wide awake-ness at night for some reason.) I've had lots of guys in the palm of my hand, but Jack is especially funny because he's so persistent and patient. According to him I play a kickass game of hard-to-get, and I actually respect him for waiting it out this long. Maybe that's why most guys don't bother with me, because I'm too hard to get. But anyway, I'm super quiet in person so most guys don't bother. I think I seem intimidating to them when I don't talk and put them in an awkward position. Well, this is obviously something that turns Jack on.. kind of weird but I think that's why he won't quit. Maybe that's why I still talk to him, because he's willing to play this confusing game. I guess I'm aware of how hard to get I am, and to be honest, it's quite fun. Except the part where I can't open up. I won't open up without alot of time and patience, and never will I open up by myself. I don't openly talk to people.. they have to pry it out of me. But I love it when people do that, it actually lets them see the real me. But they definitely have to work for it. And I think it's fun But yeah, I have Jack right square in the palm of my hand. He'll do whatever I want. This feeling is so awesome though, it's like having a servant or something idk xD But I looovve it. But there's a problem. I love talking to him, I actually look forward to it everyday.. but I think it's only because he flatters me so much.. and he's funny and nice. But he's like in love with me, and I don't know what to do because I'm not sure what my feelings are about him. My friends and I used to make fun of him, and now it's an awkward position. I'm definitely friends with him, and we need to talk more in person. But any more than that.. I'm not sure. I mean I love talking to him more than anything, but I don't know if there's anything more than that. Ughhhh if only he didn't flirt so much it would be easier for me to say no xD I still play hard-to-get, though, because it's fun.. and I can tell it only makes Jack work harder towards the goal of having me. I can feel him luring me in with the flirting everyday, but I never wanted anything more.. not really. At the start I hated him. Idk, I'm a very confused chick right about now. But I know he wants every little bit of me.. he gave up liking alot of people at one time for me. He tells me that I'm the only one he likes, and that's something I tought him to do. He used to like so many girls at once, and flirt with everyone, but he has grown so attached to me that he's thrown alot of it away. So I feel like there's so much between us but I'm not even sure. In a way I think we act like boyfriend and girlfriend without even trying to.. and we both try to stay in our boundaries that we've set for ourselves. He wants to stop himself before he goes too far by accident, (which he has kind of done a few times) and I want to stop myself from ending up in a relationship with him.. because so far I think that's where it's going. And when that day finally comes where he finally asks me out, I'll say no and it will crush everything.. the talking, the opening up, the everything. I don't want any of it to end, I just want to stay like this forever. If this makes any sense.. I don't want to be in a relationship with him, but I do at the same time. I think I'm starting to become dependent on attention, because I think that's what I like about talking to Jack.. I feel like an attention hog now, because he flatters me so much and now I like, crave it or something.. but it's not only that. I love the conversations we have. We've shared some of the things we would have never told anyone, and had good laughs. But it all comes down to me.. I think I just want it to be all about me.. I think I'm used to how much he loves me and I don't know.. I just feel so weird about wanting to talk to him all the time now. I really honestly believe I crave the attention. But how am I going to know if it's more than that...? And what would I say if he asked me out? I've been known to be very picky.. and I'm afraid this is just gonna end up miserably. I would only be his second gf.. and he would feel so strongly about me like he does now that some stuff might happen, and then people at school would hate me because a majority of people at school hate Jack. Like it wouldn't be "Aww you go out with Jack?" it would be "Ew.. you go out with Jack?" Yanno what I mean? -Sigh- I know he's just waiting for me to be softened up enough by all the flirting that he does so he can ask me out, then ask me to the Military Ball, and everything else. Haha it's so funny talking to him though, he's so head over heels. I was like really sore from weightlifting in gym on Friday and yesterday I told him how much it hurt and when I tried to take my jacket off I had trouble, and he was like "You need help taking off your jacket?" Well yeah, that was one of the times he stepped a bit over the boundaries, but I thought it was so funny.

Well enough of my endless babbling.. I hope you didn't enjoy this petty teenage rant-a-thon because if you did enjoy it you have some problems my friend xD

Well, alot has been going on I suppose. I just recently found out of so many people who have or had 'crushes' on me, which should probably make me happy but, they're not Kevin, so I'm sadly not phased. Let's see, I was grounded this weekend so, I just kind of stayed at home being all bored and what not. I was on the computer alot, needless to say, and I got to talk to alot of people. I found out that my amazing friend Tyler is a pothead, (I love him the same, mind you) my other friend Dakota is like in love with me (and I don't love him in that way, so I had to be a bitch and reject him, even though I preformed it in the safest, nicest manner available), my semi-friend Jack used to have a sick crush on me and still does in a way, (I also learned that he is the jealous type; all I had to do was mention Kevin and he began the trash talk. I didn't think it was possible for one to make fun of Kevin, but I guess for cynical, overly hormonal people like Jack it's possible.) And just buttloads more information that I could've gone a little while without knowing. Except Dakota's thing, I'm glad he asked me out so I would know how he really felt. Hmm. Well, I'm trying to wean myself from Kevin I guess you could say, not in the literal sense, of course, but in other words, I'm trying to stop liking him the way I do. We need to just be friends, or else this whole thing will tear me apart from the inside out. 'Friends' would be a much healthier status. Especially since he's in love (supposedly) with Stephanie, who used to be my friend. I have to watch them act like a married couple daily, right under my nose. Why don't they just go out already, and get it over with. If Kevin's going to break my heart (temporarily probably, but it will still hurt) he may as well get it over with. Not because that's what he's hesitant about, he's actually waiting for her to get over her previous breakup and then he'll ask her out. Pffft.. I really don't like her. Maybe I never did. But anyway, they like each other and what not, and Kevin knows I like him. He doesn't do anything, but I guess he can't if he likes this other girl. I really wish he would though... to appease me.. just a little.

Anywho, I've officially labeled myself as a Lone Wolf. That's me, off behind a tree sniffing around quietly while a pack of my kind works together playfully. I guess I'm just that way, I've tried to change, but I felt uncomfortable and awkward out of my loner-ness, so I just gave up and went back to being quiet and lonely. I guess it's not always so bad, I get plenty of time to think about things and analyze situations. In contrast, I get too much time to dwell on everything going on in my life. Which is mostly all bad stuff :/ But I have some friends at least, like Tyler, he seems to really understand this. Sure he was high when I was talking to him, but he still understands. I know he does. He's the same way almost, except much much more optimistic. Oh, another thing I'm going to try and squish my life into.. I'm going to mold it into an optimistic life. Or at least I hope so, if I can survive my pessimistic emotions. Tyler told me that I seem depressed often, so I was suprised to find that I was making it obvious. I tried with all my strength to hide it from the world, but I guess it can't be completely hidden. So I'm going to be a happy camper. With what I have at least.

As a personal vent I would like to say that I have no idea what I'm going to be when I'm older. What do I do? I'm already in High School and I have no lcue what I'm going to be. I love Art, trust me on that one. I've shyed away from Writing, maybe it can be an offshoot later in life. But Art.. I don't think it serves as a good career. I'm not unique enough in my style of art and I'm not even that good, to stand out enough to be successful. So I need to have a big root career to lean on, but I don't have one. Hell, I don't even know what I enjoy doing anymore, so I have no idea..

Like, I want to cry.
How can someone be so degrading?
Well, what the fuck can I say.
It's the story of my life.
And by the by, high school sucks.
ALOT.
As a matter of fact, it sucks ten fold.
I just want out D;
I just want out of this neverending torture..
:/
I don't wanna like Kevin anymore,
I don't wanna go to school anymore,
I don't want ANY of it anymore.
I just want a good life.
For once.
Nothing EVER seems to work out for me, EVEREVEREVEREVEREVER
And I'm even sick of my own horrible attitude.
I wish I could be optimistic like everyone else, but no.
No.
No, no.

I need something, I don't know what, but I want to escape..